MY WORLD.

buried alive

2012-02-07T02:26:00.001+08:00

Feeling the utter sense of numbness, and exhaustion. I could only think of it as how a phoenix is like, living gloriously, full of fiery and life. But in certain part of her lifetime, she will all of a sudden, burst into flames, burning every bit of her colour and energy away. All that's left will be a pile of dull ashes. However, she will re-ignite her sparks and fire as she shall resurrect from the ashes, and live her glory once again.

All that story.

So, my current state would be at the stage where she catches fire, and gets burnt alive. That torture doesn't seem to end, it just keeps tearing me up, bit by bit. The brink of absolution, when everything has lost its zest and fight.

When can i fly again? When is my time to be a phoenix, soaring and carefree?

Love,
ncy

feeling sian

2012-02-05T01:00:00.001+08:00

Needa do sth to my hair.. Gotta do something about graduating first though.

Feels unmotivated. Its like the 100th time that im feeling this way. wonder why this last lap feels so difficult..

Love,
ncy

Posted via BlogPost

punctured

2012-02-02T03:43:00.000+08:00

this night is gonna be endless.
hardly any energy for this heartache..

Dejected.

;(

2012-02-01T03:26:00.000+08:00

ever(zombified)ready

Love,
ncy

floating minds

2012-01-29T04:31:00.001+08:00

Lying here,
with no tears

Wonders why my eyes aren't open,
to think of what could be spoken

Just hearing my heart beating;
Unsettling.

Posted via BlogPost

troubleshoot

2012-01-28T23:17:00.003+08:00

How the world works is peculiar and bizarre. I guess I'll never want to comprehend and over-analyze what I will never grasp. But I shall not compromise my standards, and my life for anyone that does not appreciate my effort. But I will not tolerate anyone that does not reciprocate one's kindness and worries. Yes I will never, ever put words in my heart again. Yes I will say it out loud, I will make it clear. Therefore, I am prepared to be truly honest, with myself, and with any one who reads this.
I will stop holding back.

Love,
ncy

weekend stuck at home

2012-01-28T17:21:00.000+08:00

Optimistically, let's just say it'd better turn out good.
Rushrushrush baby

Love,
ncy :<

just keep going people

2012-01-26T04:21:00.002+08:00

I am gonna soar, run my brain like I have no tomorrow;

I am gonna travel the stretch, anxiety-filled like my dream has finally come.

Love,
ncy

scurry scurry, ants in a hurry

2012-01-22T02:16:00.000+08:00

Hey,

Been in such a happy mood. I wish I could always tune myself into the working mode. How hard I tried, to stay focus. My heart just isn't devoted anymore. Why can't I sacrifice some time so that I can get what I aimed for. Please tell me how. Please, inspire me now before I go entirely berserk.

Love,

ncy

plunging into the perils of the people network

2012-01-16T02:17:00.000+08:00

Just gotten an android phone.
Gotta be using like I have no interest in the world, besides in my screen.
Meet me on the virtual side peeps ♥

Thanks daddy&mummy for the phone and dinner, love you guys loads :)
Had Swensen's, with my brother and sister too. Pity my 2nd brother couldn't join us.
After that, my sis and I went around hunting for ny clothes. Sadly, there isn't any up to my standard, cause either too pricey, or too dull-looking. We've got ourselves earrings though!
Simply just..

Can't wait for the New Year
Can't wait for visitings
Can't wait to get ang paos like sum innocent kid bhuaha
Can't wait to gamble
Can't wait to eat sinfully high cholesterol food&snacks
Can't wait to graduate. Yes please.

Love,
ncy

wheres my catalyst

2012-01-13T03:01:00.000+08:00

i seem to have dropped my mojo, kicked it in under some cupboard, and got it trapped in some lonely corner. wonder if any hospitable spider/creature would return it to me please..

blimey.

Anyways, i hope my boy is reading this, cause..

lalala

our photobooth spams,

before you went to Aus.

its.. mr. prata face!

hah

hey,

miss you many

worzxzxzxzxz

♥

Love,
ncy

shall make myself feel good

2012-01-11T22:59:00.000+08:00

I need some rest and repair.

Right now, I will sacrifice until I get it right.
Even if it means renouncing some of my rest tonight.

Gotta gotta get back my senses, and move it.

So. Now. Please. Don't. Stop. Working.

Love,
ncy

what was the hardest part

2012-01-11T14:48:00.000+08:00

I had a dream,
an unforgettable one.

It made me believe, that for once
Things were the same, nothing's changed.

What were those thoughts about
What were these signs,
What were the chances?

Mm..
It only made me realize I was the foolish one.
Bahhh~

*face-palmed*

Love,
ncy

drain drain drain

2012-01-05T03:18:00.000+08:00

Currently, I just feel really exhausted.

Wonder if anyone feels the same..

Love,
ncy

hooks

2011-12-21T13:39:00.000+08:00

I..

Vow to make everything happen when the clock strikes 6. I am gonna make it, I shall believe. I have a list that I wanna accomplish in this precious week holiday. Please have some mercy on me!

Love,
ncy

moody because im truly sad about now.

2011-12-20T23:03:00.002+08:00

Currently, missing all the fun and the craze.

I feel that I'm sinking.

Too exhausted,

too uncreative.

I'm sad.

:(

Love,
ncy

weird places

2011-12-18T18:06:00.000+08:00

Hi hello,

Currently at shaw. Boredom is drowning me, yeap that, besides the moody, hot and cold weather. There are xmas music blasting on the streets, and you know its infectious with all the red&greeny atmosphere. Some one come visit me and say hi? I can invite you to dance in the rain with me, haha (the ultimate urge to do that in the middle of orchard road now) What a waste, everyone's avoiding the showers.

TA----DAH!

my jolly little cousin & me :>

Love,
ncy

feeling zonked out

2011-12-04T15:33:00.000+08:00

Right As Rain (Cover) | Musicians Available

Hihi,
Took me some time to cover this song, it's really hard but really fun at the same time.
Please listen to it!! ♥

Adele's song today, I love her magnetic and powerful vocals.. I wonder who doesn't? :)
I am supposed to get some work done, so I should better start hurrying now.

Love,
ncy

my mama dont believe its me :o

2011-11-22T20:23:00.000+08:00

Duffy - Mercy (Cover) | Upload Music

I was trying out my vocal range, was bored heh.
Unexpectedly, this is one of my better covers of the day.

Please listen to me for a bit, or comment abt it on the web itself!
Thanks peepzxzzx :>

Love,
ncy

does anyone still visit here?

2011-11-21T01:33:00.000+08:00

Haha, hi to myself.

It's been a long weekend, and I was lazing my ass at home the whole time. Not exactly, because my cousin came over to stay for a few days. And you must understand she never gets tired, she's always energy-packed and she expects us to play w her, LIKE ALL THE TIME. Well I love to play with her, don't get me wrong, but weekends are actually the time to do my work........... And I just freaking used my lil cutie cousin as an excuse. Smack myself, I was just idling and it's all my wrongdoing. Anyway, even though she's a handful, but she's still amazingly adorable and sweet. She unpacked her bag that one night, and said she has sweets to share with us, she unloaded so much things and she split them equally with everyone. What a darling. Mmm. Kinda miss her now :(

A note to my boy.
I miss you so much,
please hurry and come back,
i want some hugs ♥

:*

Love,
ncy

positioning

2011-11-18T14:27:00.000+08:00

Just a random unfinished doodling of mine.

By the way.
It's this kind of moment where I am feeling reluctant to do anything. Things here are dreary and repetitive. I really can't comprehend some of the things that I'm doing in the current situation. What have become of the system. (Senseless) What have become of myself, downgrading my zesty spirits to become some humdrum, sad life. (Feeling that senselessness)

Pull me out of this :(

Better - Regina Spektor

Love,
ncy

every teardrop is a waterfall

2011-11-11T02:06:00.000+08:00

Hi.

Even the dullest pencil is better than a sharp memory.
Well, so here i go. Some reasons to indulge in drawing and dooooodling.

Lights will guide you home

I wanna be there putting my hands up,

feeling the song of Cold Play.

Amazing band.

Few moment back, my seat view as an intern.

Slurping my green tea, yum..

Love,
ncy

he he he

2011-11-10T04:38:00.000+08:00

I feel I'm always the craziest when its sheez,
early in the morning ;o

doodled a little,

just to satisfy my craving to drawwwww : >

Wokay, goodnights all! *kisses*

Love,
ncy

blow my mind with inspirations, anyoneeeeee?

2011-11-10T01:58:00.000+08:00

Hey!

So.. I am back in blogging. Some sad thoughts racing through my mind, because well, now it's the Final Year Project season. I am a bit blanked out by the moments of craziness and problems. Definitely not finding myself a reason not to do work, but I can't find a base that settles my reasoning and ideas. I feel like I'm floating and hanging in mid air. Gosh.

On the sidetrack, keeping my brain away from stuffs..

Joined flea with friends. Its my first time!! Quite hyped, but one customer is just..

(seriously no manners and fucked up shitz cause

she's a rude fuck and can't believe I lost my cool yo)

..friendly and nice :)

Elodie's drawing. Isn't it cuuute? She's improving, so happy.

It's a monster. And because Twilight was showing,

I told her vampires have fangs and they bite, instead.. she drew upward fangs.

Conclusion: She has talents.

Some retail therapy for myself.

Went to buy some stuffs myself, and walk walk myself. I polka dotted my own nails, family said its gross, bhuahahaha. Dad says look like ladybug. HEHE

AND IMA MISSING MY BOY *hugs*
come back in one piece, and don't scare me with freaky wounds ;c

Norah Jones - Come Away With Me

Love,
ncy

2011-09-12T22:30:00.000+08:00

You love someone, you open yourself up to suffering, that's the sad truth.

Maybe they'll break your heart,

maybe you'll break their heart and never be able to look at yourself in the same way.

Those are the risk. That's the burden.

Like wings, they have weight, we feel that weight on our backs,

but they are burden that lifts us.

Burden which allow you us to fly.

dear me,

why i do i find this terribly true :'(
i've been crying more often than usual these recent weeks, the uneasy and unhappiness beats all the happy ones. the sadness lingered longer somehow.

Love,

ncy

i have so many things in my mind

2011-09-08T01:02:00.000+08:00

To my special you:
Ups and downs, it always happen doesn't it. But that pleasant feeling when we spent time talking about our days and thoughts. Simple and comfortable being with you. I love you oh, so much. I wanna tell you something, wish you're able to call me up :]

Side note. Like i've said, many things running in my head. Listening to The Carpenters probably is a good way to destress myself. I shall promise myself to do things i agreed on. GOGOGOGO

Love, ncy

when i cant reason out any of your reasons

2011-08-30T18:36:00.000+08:00

When you're feeling awfully low, and you tried telling someone, but neither understands your plight. Or all you needed was just a listening ear, but instead you've gotten a speaker to blast out loud all your worries and sadness back at you.. It can't get any worse than this. I'm feeling so sad right now I don't quite know how to describe these bottled up feelings. Bottled up when all I needed was you. Now.. I guess forever not. I tried letting you in, you gave me what I hated the most. What else can I say, all I needed was the comforts, and I've never gotten any.

When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down on your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down on your face
And on your face I...

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Love, ncy

ultimate contemplation

2011-08-09T14:29:00.000+08:00

pretty moment, double the irony

Love,
ncy

just so i know

2011-08-08T02:54:00.000+08:00

for my first pay, I've really gotta get some things done.

1)get some make-up (argh)

2)haircut (double argh)

3)babyboy's present

4)get some stuffs for my family :]

before all this, I know it needs hard work and sheer determination. So, go go go.

Love,
ncy ✽

06aug '11

2011-08-06T01:36:00.000+08:00

Hi,
just started my attachment, well it already has been a week. And all I can say is, I really love the people there, they are lovable and really friendly, it makes working seem a bit less clinical. Work aside, I think I have found my stepping stone towards the coming times. It may not be the best solution, but it kept me thinking for a while, thanks to someone whom I've talked to today, she has really widened my mind and sprinkled some glimpse of hope to what I thought was a dead end. Mm, it really gave me a bright idea, somewhat starting up a business. I wonder where will I go from here.. What lies ahead, its definitely in my hands now. Full of thoughts tonight.

爱一个人的感觉是心中放不下一个人, 而不是你寂寞时才会想起的那一个人

Love,
ncy

miss u

2011-08-03T02:03:00.002+08:00

Why would I think negatively, when I can just be happy and have wondrous thoughts and beautiful imaginations.

wonders if theres the difference

2011-07-27T02:32:00.000+08:00

Recently, met a few friends who haven't seen me for a while, and some said I looked different. Maybe of my long hair, or probably i've looked older(hopefully not), or fatigued. One even said my complexion got better. Haha, kinda happy because I have been trying hard to take care of my flawed skin.

I wonder.. am i really looking different? Or is it because of some other reason that makes me feel different as well?

:|

r.i.p amy winehouse

2011-07-24T03:29:00.000+08:00

Heard this news from my friend (wonder if it was for concern or mockery) that Amy Winehouse has past away in her own apartment. Didn't really cover the details in most websites, only mentioned about suspected drug overdose/unexplained death. I really love her songs, and how unique her voice was. Definitely losing one good talent. Iconic beehive hair, and thick make up, it's something no one can ever pull off. You will always have a special place in my heart. Rest in peace, Amy Winehouse.

my super mummy

2011-07-22T05:08:00.000+08:00

❤❤❤

Wanna say thanks and for everything that my mum has done for the family. I love her so so much, despite us always snatching the internet, throwing piles of clothes for me to fold, lamenting about my messiness. I feel we're alike in so many ways, i owe my little artistic and singing genes to her. It's true that at my generations, I don't have to worry about contributing to the family, and I know so well that she could be such an adventurer if not tied down by many other factors. So proud of her, cause she is always jolly and lovely, she makes my day when she cracks a joke and laughs all by herself. Hehe. My mum plays Final Fantasy, Silent Hill, how cool is that.

And.. today was her birthday!

Everyone gathered to surprise her with chili and black pepper crab that she loves so much. She totally didn't expected the ice cream cake my sis bought for her. It was a happy day today, I love my mum and she's my hero :]

❤❤❤

its you thats hidden by the expectation

2011-07-22T04:40:00.000+08:00

Miss you much babe ❤

Okay, i guess this is my daily routine, of hitting the sack in broad daylight.

Bad habit silly thinkings. I don't feel right not finishing my work before sleep, but that's the morning class routine and there'll be a long day after, just ready for me to dwell and slog on my projects. it's maddening to have classes late at night. My body clock's all hay-wired. However, on a brighter and much peculiar note, this block is seemingly faster than I thought. After this peaceful ending, comes the formidable waves of attachments.. Foreign faces, new bosses, fresh environment, here I come!

(Brooke's song is still embedded deep in my mind. Gonna be hearing it all day long, till I get ultra sick of it. The last song I was so crazy driven was Ryan Cabrera -True. Time flies. Now, get back to work, mate.)

you've got your regrets, darling we all do.

2011-07-20T01:49:00.000+08:00

Omg, listen to her :)

BROOKE FRASER!
She has the most charming voice ever, and her songs are all vibrant with lively tunes, quirky beats, sweet tiniest floating fluffy hearts, and topped with the cutest pink purple ribbon.

It's such dreamy and calm voice that makes me search about her when I first heard her on the radio. I may be a lil slow, but this song Betty is so nice ♥ And I've got to know she is coming to Singapore on 12th & 13th August! And 13th is already sold out. Anyone wanna sponsor me to go? :]

in everything that we are

2011-07-18T02:40:00.000+08:00

You are what you do,

not what you say.

Please, make your actions reflect your words.

ranting a little here for you

2011-07-14T03:07:00.000+08:00

Blah.

I just need some cooling down for myself so that I know I have to still carry on.

School work: I don't feel myself pushing forward already. It's like I have reached the ending line, or I have totally dropped the idea of pressure and workload in my mind. No sense of stress, no panicky feeling :/

Dear me, I know you have been trying your best to make sustain and carry on. But please know this fact that this is the cycle for you. The break was over, it's time for you to work those brains and get the creative thing going. I know you have it, you're just procrastinating and stressing yourself with the word 'LAZY'. Come on, move your butt and make it worthwhile!

me and everything else going on around me

2011-07-14T02:57:00.000+08:00

Updating my blog because I still love my blog, and I still love writing about my day. Hoping people will read and also, enjoy what I enjoy about my life.

..and my past doodles on my whiteboard.

Hah you could probably spot some cartoons that I like :)

Few days back,

Kel and I was hanging around at Toy's R Us,

we were really bored and feeling childish.

Today

Did my NAPFA, with a bunch of friends

We made it guys! *hugssss*

Scraped both my knees too..

Stupid skin is gone there

;'(

I guessed I had a bad and embarrassing fall while running my shuttle run. Before that, I finished all the different segments and my legs were feeling really jelly-ish. So when I got to the shuttle run (and i was the freaking first one, and everyone else was looking), once I started to run, I can feel both my legs couldn't take it and gave way. And I fell flying, and also got dragged on for a few secs by my sprinting momentum on the grainy, rough, bloody red track. I sort of lied there in a Super Man position for I believe it was about 5 seconds, and I heard everyone gasping. Limelight's on me guys, lol. My baobei Jo came to my rescue and pulled me back up. Both my knees, elbows were covered with abrasions. Jo kept laughing, she said she can't help it, cause my fall was damn epic. Most of them laughed too, don't know why but I was laughing along leh. Hahahaha what the shit.

Conditions now are that the skin on my knees got rubbed off and seriously hurts like a bitch. Prickly and annoying, it'll definitely last for a while. And nope, I didn't cry. I hardly cry when I fall, I realized.

And.. I would have laughed at myself If i see me falling flat like this. Hahaha and, of course this kind of news spread like wildfire, all my friends, including those who weren't even at the sports hall got to know that I fell -.- definitely a memorable NAPFA test I guess.

;]

can't wait for you, my dear holiday

2011-06-16T02:56:00.000+08:00

First up, a few days back(besides stoning at home for inspirations), I went with the guys to celebrate Jeremy's birthday! Had a simple night out, and we had a nice meal together. After that we got a cake and we chilled out at some rooftop view place, don't know where that is, but the view is good. Relaxed and comfortable that day, plus with the company of friends, enjoyed my time hanging out.

Pink cap boy is the birthday boy ;]

ahteo, he has some nice shoes!

Karen/me/ahteo/woo

Karen and me

It's been long since we've seen each other!

ANYWAY,
Gonna gonna finish up my stuff, because I have that passsion today. Overwhelming drive of zest and energy, I guess it's cause I took too much sleep just now. Heh, just gonna work this out. Wish me luck, darn I'm feeling reaaal positive and charged! :]

miscellaneous

2011-06-13T06:06:00.000+08:00

Anyway, will start painting and sketching away in my holiday time. And GOING OUT LIKE CRAZY WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO CANT WAIT CANT WAIT! Hehe!

☺☺☺☺☺☺☺

✓✓✓

2011-06-13T05:38:00.000+08:00

Just cracked my neck, woots. Staying up tonight, cause I'm really determined to finish what is neglected. Just gotta do it, albeit the progress. Screw myself up, but not the projects. HAHAHAHAHA......... Irony :/

Dear Jun Jie,
Baby, I'm really missing you. Didn't see you for the long while makes me think of you more, and wishing you're here with me. Like what they say, abscence makes the heart grow fonder. The few chats and messages these days make me see how far we've become.. Stronger; certainty. I know where we stand in each other's heart, and I really do want us to keep going crazy for each other. Babe, you're one lucky guy to have me, yes? I know you'll say yes :=) Mm, when I see you, I will definitely jump on you and hug you like a teddy bear♡♡ Hope the stress doesn't follow along, because honestly the heat is too much for me handle, and I need this short break for me to breathe ;O

Before anything starts competing themselves and getting wild, please please give me some time to spend with my loved ones and give mercy to these comforts I need.

Today marks the beginning of my stoning days.

2011-06-06T02:26:00.000+08:00

Looking forward to unforeseen events that I would definitely want them to happen. Please, get my drive going and let me see hope in making through this alive tonight. Every night feels the same, my god. Why am I acting this way? Is this for real, that I can't even try to bullshit my way around? This is so, so so so so so so bad.

Apart from school, (of course) just had a Beautiful Sunday performance in Esplanade. It was Disney theme this time and despite having such a tight schedule and stuffs, I still manage to pull through.
Sadly, I wasn't in my best form and there are still some notes where I was freaking struggling, but overall it was damn satisfying. Playing with the band, i really loved it and enjoyed the presence of the stage. Every one of the soloist today played really well, and I feel that I didn't play as much wrong notes during concert compared to rehearsals. Gonna upload some pics later! :]

Really took the time out for this concert. I was really stressed out half the time, and physically exhausting, but it was worthwhile. I can feel that my lips are still swollen from the concert even now, after 6 hours. ;O

GONNA RUSH WORK NOW NOW NOW. OKAY, GONNA START AT 150!

the first night, since long ago

2011-06-02T05:54:00.001+08:00

that I've decided not to sleep, but my motivation has stopped for a long while. Gonna grab some Macs, and get to school earlier to finish what I'm supposed to today, mm.. i meant this dawn. Who can understand the sick and tired feeling, it has been staying and I doubt that it is leaving. Let's just embrace the slack and promise to work doubly hard later, yes?

edited with a :* for you sweets ♡

forego insecurities; i have my donkey with me!

2011-05-31T03:42:00.001+08:00

Funny how it seems,

I'd always wind up here with you

It's nice to know somebody loves me

❤❤❤

pictures proving that I'm still alive

2011-05-30T01:25:00.000+08:00

Some little pictures of recent events in my life :)

Birthday @ Swensen's. Thanks guys for the present, very thoughtful of getting that huge bag for me. I'll definitely use it hah. I've enjoyed myself a whole lot that day! Heart euu guyzxzx
:)

Had our lunch at Sakae, the place we first met each other lol, nostalgic only.

The boy bought a cake for me after that and we celebrated at his house.

A simple day out this year. That's Billiard chilling at the back, haha.

Playing fetch on the ball that doesn't fit her mouth. She's such a cutie.

Really makes my day when I see her running or trying crazily to rub her itchy nose!

Another birthday celebration @Nihon Mura! We went there solely for the buffet, and almost didn't make it out alive. Pity Maria wasn't there to finish them all, bhuahahaa. Love the bag and the earpiece(know that I needed one), and love you guys :]

Went for Audi Fashion Festival, it was something new and kinda amazing to see the number of fashion designers surviving and making the cut. Inspired much?

Me/Amy/Sheryl

There's some hidden faces behind, haha the place was near pitch dark before the fashion show starts. These are some of the better photos!

Tried snapping photos of the models, to be honest I am truly impressed with our local designers creating a collection, seeing their garments on the models and strutting down the runway. Even though it's just that few minutes on stage, but I believe all the efforts and time are worth it. Wonder will I ever get into this scene?

Few snippets in the month of May. I guess I should upload more photos in my blog the next time!

Wanna say i love the people around me more than anything❤

i know its me, but hey, this is me.

2011-05-29T04:24:00.000+08:00

I have myself to blame, but I love what I'm doing. Sometimes I complain and (almost all the time) wishing I had more time to commit myself to other things, but this is how I can enjoy myself to the fullest, it makes me content. Times are when I tried giving up, but I can't bear to drop any, I try very hard to keep up with everything that I like, because I definitely would want to excel and succeed in these things that I put my heart into. I don't wanna regret you see, they are precious things and memories that I would want them to stay on. These are the thoughts in my head that keeps me standing strong and holding on.

My beliefs, I wish I am so manageable with time. I probably won't be struggling as hard, but that's my flaw. But I won't stop trying to reach them as long as I am still capable to juggle the lot.

this is my irony, or maybe you feel it too

2011-05-26T00:15:00.000+08:00

Baby, I don't feel right

My heart seems to be weeping inside

Sometimes the pieces doesn't fit properly 

people try to squeeze that wrong jigsaw in so forcefully

That pinch, that hurt, who would ever comprehend

because they don't feel it, and I just hide it.

This world will seem like a happier place, but deep inside its that constant pouring rain, and its never gonna stop.

my determination feels crushed

2011-05-20T01:03:00.000+08:00

Hearing you this way makes me feel a sinking ache somehow. Tiredness truly makes the sadness go round. But anyway, happy that I'm going out tomorrow, wheehoo! I shall finish my stuffs by today because I no longer wanna drag on, please let all the unnecessary pass.

Trying to spur that determination, but I don't hear the engine starting. When am I gonna be ready to begin this dreadful and boring task? Also, just got to know my attachment company yesterday, In my opinion, I have no comments.

me and you, will we float?

2011-05-18T04:05:00.000+08:00

Listening to Elenowen - Falling Slowly

Today it's a lonesome night, how I wish I can have you here with me and we can chat these dreadful hours away, we can tease and laugh and stare and each other until whenever, or forever. We can stone and giggle and go bonkers and still be able to treat one another like we are each other's everything. I am happy to see you smiling, it's because I was the one who put that smile on your face. I just want this floaty feeling to never end. Or maybe, it will, last.

Honey, I really wish you to be by my side.

♥

We could have had it all, rolling in the deee-eeep

2011-04-27T05:20:00.001+08:00

Never cherishing what I have, such a sinner. . .

Did this drawing ages ago, was so motivated to draw books after books of my sketches. But now, hardly taking any time to draw my thoughts out. Geez.
Now that school starts, I began to miss the freedom that I once had, probably just lazing around, or even having the leisure to waste the time. And now regretting not spending them wisely for doodling stuffs that keep me happy up and going. I am guilty as charged. Pray that I survive every ordeal that is about to get thrown to my freaking face. By the way, lookin on the bright side, I am officially in year 3 now, hurrah. Can't wait to end this turmoil, cause it's killing me and everyone around me. I've been infecting friends with my that gloomy aura these days. Oh well, closed ones know how I feel, at least then I can worry less, and have lesser things to put to my to-do list. Keep striving, and I'll get there somehow, soon enough!! GOGOGOOOOOOOO

P.S. I miss him very much ❤❤♥

pouring my goals

2011-04-19T00:10:00.000+08:00

I'd thought about it.

I've made up my mind.

I would rather regret that I've once work hard for my goals,
than regret not doing anything to reach what I want.

I fractured my hand

2011-04-01T09:01:00.000+08:00

What a day, all good but turned out retarded. Was trying to be nice, helped my sister lift some heavy stack of books and I thought I could handle the weight..
Snap, goes my bone. OUCHHHHH

Don't get shocked by the pic of my poor hand :'(
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Gotcha,

April Fool!!!!

this. is. bad

2011-03-28T02:48:00.000+08:00

I feel so bored I've been controlling myself from posting too much statuses in Facebook (I know.. there's Twitter). Still I feel this weird feeling that's nasty and it is something I detest. Really don't know why I always feel so blue and uneasy with everything around me. Sheeeeeeeez can someone hear me out

:(

truly feeling the blues, what am I to do honey

:(

2011-03-27T23:29:00.000+08:00

When time passes, does love deplete,
or does it complete me

It is always sad when things between two human beings start to change because of: different mindset/ getting sick of each other/ getting so used to each other/ take things for granted/ too lazy to say anything/ doesn't change anything for the sake of him or her/ can't be bothered/ never listening/ used by him or her/ seeing personality change to someone who doesn't feel familiar anymore/ don't give no damn/ only contact when there's nothing else to do/ selfishness/ just for the status/ just needy/ losing trust/ feeling nothing/ or perhaps.. it's all of the above.

This might be just a random post, but it might break me.

2011-03-21T05:23:00.000+08:00

I'm so lazy, I could cry.. Have been slacking the whole week and up till now I still can't bring myself to do my homework. Why is this happening to me :/ Feeling rather unhappy about myself. So lazy and being such a loser. AHHHH

Some pictures to brighten up my morning:

The revised window display in school.

Hard work hard work!

My little cousin drawing things

using the hello kitty's stationaries that I bought for her.

A sweet little 4years old angel

did this drawing of a bird just for me.

It totally brightens up my day!

I really should buck up, for my own sake. Cmonnnnnnnnnn

!!!!!!

oh boy, the day's getting closer. ARE U EXCITED TOO?

2011-03-17T03:17:00.000+08:00

Boyfriend: He is simple, carefree and opens up his heart so readily for me. He is like a bosom, a best friend, a listener, a joker, a lover, a partner. I feel thankful to have known him, because he is one of the reasons I'm always staying cheerful. Dedicated just for you, and I hope you know why *winks*

Of course, many of the other reasons lead back to my wonderful family and friends. Knowing new people along the way, getting to know them, and sharing unexpected stories and substantial emotions.. These things grew on me and changes many ways of my perspective. I can't be any grateful to embark my days in whatever I'm going through now, because even though times are tough, I have people to lean on and laugh together with. That's one great feeling that I will never forget.

A night full of memories, because of so many changes, so many sadness, so much more happiness, because year 2 is ending, because I can't be more happy to know all the people I've met. Because I was reading some soulful book, this line left an impact on me. "One starts as a square and ends as a circle." During the phase of life, we made changes and chose paths to walk, things changes and some of our beliefs are forgotten. However, good or bad, we still continue and make the best out of these moments.

Ok, back to rushing reports!
:)

what am i s'posed to do when the best part of me was always you

2011-03-07T23:53:00.002+08:00

Falling to pieces, yeah

I'm falling to pieces yeaaaah.

It's been a while since I've blogged. Recent happenings was how I drag myself to school every single day. Darn it's getting so dreary. These are the days where I end up having sleepless nights trying to rush out props and coming up with reports. I will end up dying, dying in vain and in complete restlessness. School aside, I need to catch up with all my lovely friends than being such a loser, stuffing my head in all these shitload of projects. When I was little, all I'd think about was growing up, living, loving and dying. Now, it has turned into dying all over again and again. What has changed that cute little thought of mine? I haven't got a clue in what I'm striving for now. Can anyone just hit me in the head and tell me to wake that idea of mine?

Bleh so bored. Mmmmm, I shall make today a Productive-and-being-a-nerd Monday! Keep going, these tiny assignments ain't gonna bring you down! Go girly power! *bash papers*

I wonder what is he doing now? I wish he will know that I'm thinking about him and hope he's doing fine. Usually you'd call.. I know it wouldn't happen today, but somehow I'm still hoping. The way you make me feel, hopeful and safe. And together, we are the very best. Hahahaha

so not motivated

2011-02-23T03:46:00.000+08:00

There is a certain point in life, where it just doesn't give you any chance to think through the journey you've embarked on. And when you slow down your pace, you realized you've been walking the wrong path all along, you've walked too far out and there's no chance of returning. The part where you finally feel you've been wasting your precious long hours doing things you don't like.
What is gonna happen next?

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For the record, I have no motivation to what I'm gonna do in the future. Let alone now, my assignments were thrown aside and ignored. *shrugs* Anyway. Something to announce, I've finally opened up that new box of crayons to use. The crayons look sooooo cool and neat and special. It made me happy just by looking at them. Sad to say, I broke one of those cute lil things, I'm so clumsy. What a waste :( I have been drawing portraits of people lately, and I find that I may be a little too stagnant in the way I draw. I admit not being too fanciful in my work, but hope my friends will like what I draw for them :) I've probably spend my sleeping time in doing things I shouldn't do. Sigh, it's 3:32am now, and I gotta finish my work before I can get some sleep. The worst part is, trying to get up at 7:30am. Geez, its the hardest task for every waking day.

Babe, I miss you,

your comforting words and your company

that will help me through these cruel times.

my day today

2011-02-21T00:16:00.000+08:00

Spent my day with baby. Ate pizza and enjoyed each other's company. I love the feeling.

However its nothing compared to how I am raging about my idiotic brother. I don't know how to describe this, but in short, you're the biggest disappointment ever in every ways I can think of. I can start listing so many things, so you better start hating me, as I'm seriously considering to strike you off the list of siblings. Go away you, naive and ignorant piece of shit.

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH STUPID, FREAKING MAKE MY BLOOD BOIL.

psst...

2011-02-19T05:14:00.000+08:00

Since I'm so free, I shall write down a list of stuff that I wanna get:

1. plastic-framed glasses
2. sketch pad (usb)
3. new laptop case
4. some brushes
5. water bottle
6. some joy in me
7. socks
8. make-up
9. keychains
10. wallet
11. new phone
12. eraser (who the hell took my one, my one my rubber)
13. Merdema
14. containers
15. black colour pencils
16. a schedule planner
18. a handy dandy, notebook!
19. clothes
20. refund from the masking tape
21. my money back
22. french horn (sigh)
23. mouthpiece
24. toolbox
25. hairbands
26. haircut
27. hair dye
28. rebond?
29. bags
30 shoes
31. space
32. inspiration
33. a job
34. a life
35. time
36. dream

Okay, more to add to the list, but that's all I can remember. I think number 33 should be my priority, besides the point that I currently don't own number 35. That will lead me all the way down to number 36, and such depression will need plentiful of number 6. With that, then I can start all over from number 34.

my recent happenings, good or bad or worse

2011-02-19T02:55:00.000+08:00

Been so tight up with school there's nothing much to celebrate about.
Every week is so crazy, I wonder if anyone knows how difficult it is to pull through those weeks. Trying to churn out ideas that doesn't seem appealing, nice. Moreover, the stress level I'm feeling now is overwhelming. Is this for our own good? Is this to make my future bright? *raise eyebrow* I know some friends have been asking me out, so so sorry to decline any dates because I really have no time. Seriously, I hunger for sleep more than going out. THAT'S HOW EXHAUSTED I AM AFTER SCHOOL.

My recent works.

It's a purple dinosaur!

Anw..

I realized that I look pretty good in white

(or is it because of the background)

Hahahaha, whatever.

Through the ups and downs, I know whom I can trust and believe, or seek help from. Those who are a free rider or blame-pusher, sorry I've learn my lesson and I will never try to waste my precious time on anyone like that. Not like I'm pointing fingers, but generally when I hear such things, condemnation is the only thing I'll do. EXTREMELY hate people who take others for granted. I do not do you a favor, so please just go away.

Recently, I am like a dork, who willingly keeps all the fun away from myself. Yay

Anyway, if you happen to see this, helllo baby. Just wanna say I lurvvee euuuxzxzx! D:D

time to give that deafening roar

2011-02-16T15:24:00.002+08:00

cmon i can do this.

haven't been updating

2011-02-10T02:10:00.000+08:00

Me/ Cousin

CNY

.. is so over. School started too soon, assignments started piling up, I couldn't even feel the festive mood anymore. What a bummer, four days ended so fast, I didn't celebrate enough. This year, I don't even see the plate full of candies and sweeeeeet stuffs that I would always look forward to opening them one by one and see which one I would start savoring from! Oh well, guess everyone in the family and relatives have grown up, no one seems to bother much about the little little things for these kind of festive mood and preparation.

Just talking about CNY, my boyfriend was invited by my dad(can you believe it) to come over for dinner, cause my house catered a lot of food. His sister came along too. Shocking, and my dad was actually eying my boyfriend like a prey. So weird, I know my dad dotes on me a lot. He hates for me to worry so much besides schoolwork. Sometimes I wish I could make him stop worrying about me just for a bit, at least he could relax and not always having things on his mind. And also, my boyfriend is so so quiet that day, it makes me wanna laugh. Keke. Ah, I am already missing the carefree moments of CNY. Sigh. CNY, why did you have to go? I beg you to stay with me for a while longer. Pleaseeeee?

Anw
Now for school, I'm doing up a huge window just nearing the entrance of the Design School, do drop by to take a look next week and give me some comments! It's a whole lot of work and concepts, and sweat. I hope it turns out fine, my group were only given a 4-5 days to set up, really hope there wont be any major problems coming up in the later part. Do drop by and have a little peek! Hehehe.

(can't wait for the day to get out and have some fun)

i am in agony i wish i was dead

2011-01-29T00:00:00.000+08:00

i feel so shattered i don't know what i can do

So lost
So disturbed
So strangled
So tensed
So hurting

pathetic shitzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

2011-01-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

Did this in school because I was bored.

If I were to draw myself now, it

will be added with a frown, and there shall be no mouth

because tonight is a shithole

2011-01-28T22:28:00.002+08:00

What's going on
Could this be my understanding
It's not your fault
I was being too demanding
I must admit
It's my pride that made me distant
All because
I hoped that you'd be someone different

There's not much I know about you
Fear will always make you blind
But the answer is in clear view
It's amazing what you'll find face to face

I turned away
Because I thought you were the problem
Tried to forget
Until I hit the bottom
But when I faced you
In my blank confusion
I realized you weren't wrong,
It was a mere illusion

It really didn't make sense
Just to leave this unresolved
It's not hard to go the distance
When you finally get involved face to face

solitary and sensitive

2011-01-28T22:21:00.000+08:00

I feel I'm all alone this world, with pain and feelings no one can understand.
I get it, it's me that is weird.
Why am I so dumb
to think anyone cares

Downloading songs from Daft Punk is definitely the right thing for situation like this now.
[Around the world]

Just leave me alone, as it always has been.

the dreadful week = submission week

2011-01-27T06:38:00.000+08:00

If only I had minds of a time-saving person, my assignments will be a breeze.

Can't believe i haven't finish the merchandise plan, why the hell did i overwrite the page, why couldn't all of these just disappear and make me happy for a while? Still stuck in the assignment, and for which there's a presentation later. Gonna kill myself there, presentation is not my thing anymore, last time I was so stable and never panic. Now, I don't know what to do, and I will freak out. Darn, what is happening. The frequency of standing low is high. To hell with this shit seriously, it's the same thing over(those people who think this is easy, please try it yourself and realize how stupid the assignment is by doing the same thing you've done before). Mixed feeling, I don't anticipate school anymore. It's a total disaster.

Babe, if only you're here to accompany through the pathetic nights..

I miss you :((

the stubby jealousy in people

2011-01-25T04:31:00.000+08:00

That random song you sung, really did brighten up my day a whole lot. (Hope you didn't shock your buddy :P)

I have been spending my time stoning and lazing about in school, when all of a sudden your call came and that unexpected melody, instead of the conventional 'hello'. Initially I laughed so hard, and thought why the sudden gesture, next thing it popped to my mind that you're trying to cheer me up. Thanks baby, it lifted my sunken spirits up ♥ It also kinda makes me feel lonely again. I miss sharing my thoughts with you, and the bread's adventure I come up with every time you feel hungry. Hearing your laughter after the tiresome day.. makes it much less tiresome. Hehe. The inspiration of the bread drives me to write, or even draw the story out as short series hahahaha! I HAVE SO MANY PLANS IN MY HEAD FOR THE HOLIDAY YOU KNOW (JJ YOU'RE ONE OF THEM)

Just a sidenote-
Does it ever occur to anyone that you can be selfish and not feeling guilty about it? To be honest, I'd think twice about it, but there will still be the pangs of contrition laying on my mind after I made a bias decision. Most of the time I would stick to the less remorseful idea. It just makes me feel better, despite giving more effort. At least it felt better.

Last week of the school, it is the time to pull my pants up, and buckle up boys.

( )

self-hypnotize trick

2011-01-24T00:56:00.000+08:00

do work do work im a good girl shall do some work if not i will go crazy please do some work open the file and touch the document lay your mind into getting some work done focus focus focus you have to focus now you need the sleep and the deadline is tomorrow what is wrong you dont have much time yet you are still not doing any work what the hell are you thinking wake wake wake up your idea or give a slap on your face probably that will help you need to submit stuff lets get going no time to lose you can do it i have faith in you i see some hope so dont waste it the night is still young lets just stuff our head in and get it over with.

Btw
when people fear me, that's when they know how scary I can be.

That look on your face, total victory for me.
I love every second of it.
(Y)

I need to do my assignment now, i'm a good girl.

( ) - cyber hug for you!

i wonder are those words true, or are they mentioned just for show.......

so stressed out by what i feel is miscellaneous shitz

2011-01-21T21:34:00.000+08:00

Wanna drown myself out.
omg no more jazz nor contemporary

I need HEAVY BEATS NOWWWWWW

our words

2011-01-20T03:14:00.000+08:00

Totally couldn't hear my ahlarm nor the phone ringing, I suppose I was with such fatigue. Surprisingly, I don't find school a chore now, maybe because I am handling it better (mm yet I know I can go higher). One of my presentation results was out today, sigh it wasn't the best grade. However I kind of expected it, cause my group was pretty much under-prepared. I only have myself to blame, given the time and such, I still wasn't giving my best effort. Next is I am gonna prove to my lecturer that I have my standards from my upcoming presentation. Not gonna let myself down again, this is unacceptable !!! Cehhh

Anyway, self evaluation time. I find myself being too laid-back and unaware of my situation most of the time. But hey, I'm making a change now. Play is play, but when it comes to business, I'm all out to get that deal, no more blurriness. Blah, boring stuffs aside. Show you something that I've drawn in class hahaha.

Looks familiar?

Our snacks to survive class

Wth my friend is eating atapchee!

And so many of them like it D:

Amethyst/me/Viv

The power of photobooth

♥

Those drawings was for one of my module, where we group up to do a case study for Twitter. And obviously we had too much time, so I ended up doodling in our presentation paper. Hahahaha. Funny to say how much I rejected opening a Twitter acc. Yet I gotta do it now just because of the module. Amazing. Bet hardly anyone knows that I have a Twitter acc. ;O

By the way, the weather is chilly, take more covers!
Didn't get to hear your voice today, or how you're doing. Surprise you with that long msg when you wake up honey ♥

:(
Ugh, gotta start doing my work alr. Enough idling.

its a cycle, of missing and thinking of you over and over again

2011-01-17T02:59:00.001+08:00

you know how important you are to me

as I know how important I am to you

We both know it too well

Before I ever forget, don't make these memories vanish

I need them to feel hopeful and
Remember the way you looked at me so intensely

those tender eyes, will they ever turn into grim stares
Despite anything

We will live through everything, just the faith and that will be all

Not alone

2011-01-16T19:58:00.002+08:00

At arm's length, you held your spouse and children.
Your lack of grace so nearly killed them.
Forgiveness still breathes, he may not wake for years.
He promised me still this won't end in tears.

deprived from sleep, im gloomy

2011-01-13T07:01:00.000+08:00

I feel like dying, because every month the same things repeat over and over again. Four weeks of lame stuff, this is only the 2nd week and I'm breathless. Trying to catch up with work, and plainly following things from the paper. Research is worse, documenting things that's already in the web. This is getting really plain and sucky, it starts to bore me already. How can I keep up that spirit and interest?

Suck it up?

Sigh

Suppose to do my work, death

2011-01-12T04:25:00.000+08:00

:/

Can't help feeling bored, tons of homework are waiting for my attention. I shall try to entertain myself, hoping for a miracle so that I can get my study mood back. Bored bored bored bored bored stressed bored bored bored bored bored stressed bored.

"Hey."

Pearly white teeth?

HAHAH.

Overjoy!

Saw some shiny, gold bars.

Smooches for you?

EEYER FAT NOSE

K, it doesn't really work.
Nothing's helping to kill my dreariness away. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TEST IS TOMORROW. I haven't properly do any of my assignments, darn this time I'm really gonna die.

:[

oldies love

2011-01-12T01:52:00.001+08:00

Peter, Paul and Mary - Leaving On A Jet Plane

All my bags are packed, I'm ready to go

I'm standing here outside your door

I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin', it's early morn

The taxi's waiting, he's blowin' his horn

Already I'm so lonesome I could cry.

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go.

(oh, baby, don't let me go!)

I'm leavin' on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to go.

There's so many times I've let you down

So many times I've played around

I tell you now, they don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I think of you

Every song I sing, I sing for you

When I come back, I'll wear your wedding ring.

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go.

(oh, baby, don't let me go!)

I'm leavin' on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to go.

Now the time has come to leave you

One more time let me kiss you

Then close your eyes, and I'll be on my way.

Dream about the days to come

When I won't have to leave alone

About the times, I won't have to say,

So kiss me and smile for me

Tell me that you'll wait for me

Hold me like you'll never let me go.

(oh, baby, don't let me go!)

I'm leavin' on a jet plane

I don't know when I'll be back again

Oh, babe, I hate to go.

The lyrics expressed every thought in my mind. What an incredible song, brings back countless memories that come between saying those unbearable goodbyes and longings from our dearest ones. I felt it all in that blue tune. Well, wonder if anyone feels the same way as I do towards this song? Anyway. Please enjoy, the clean acoustic and gentle melody of Peter, Paul and Mary.

Secretly holding on to you and I'll never let you go.

love on love

2011-01-10T02:05:00.000+08:00

SIGHSIGHSIGH

NO HOMEWORK DONE
NOT HAVING SLEEP
NOT MAKING GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT
NOT TAKING ANYTHING SERIOUSLY
SERIOUSLY

Life is bad and sad, and school is mad.

I'm gonna try to make it work, nothing's too late right, JYJYJYJY!

HELLO 2011!

2011-01-04T02:15:00.000+08:00

Today school commences.
Boohoo, but it feels fine, because I'm in the mood to do my homework. Surprisingly uh.

ANYWAY, IT'S 2011 ALREADY OH MY.
2010 is was a year filled with unexpected and wondrous things, come to think of it. I've met many fun friends, been to numerous new places, experienced a lot more stuffs that I believe, makes me a much better person. These are just some pictures that I feel are worth remembering for the year 2010:

Playing for Sembawang Winds Symphony

and knowing the people there, awesome la :)

First time spending my xmas at Swissotel

with baby and friends, uber fun!

Going zoo with cousins, uncles and aunts

first time participating in these animal shows!

I fed an elephant!!

Meeting up for lunch & fun

with Zhijian and Karen, loving it :]

My first time crashing into other school's lecture

with Lihua, hahaha it was so interesting.

First time going to SSW

with bro, cousins and uncle, I love that day a lot!

Visiting Timbre for the first time

with poly cliques and the regulars

I love chilling with food & music & friends :)))

A charcoal bread

baked by my cousin Huixin

peculiar thing eh? I liked it actually :D

Last but not least

having to know you and the times spent together :]

(hey you know, I really really miss you)

♥

Resolution for 2011:

I... hope to get into director's listing. I wish I am more disciplined to have a better time management. I want to be a better Horn player, because I know I'm not yet there, this year I will work to that. I don't want to be condemned as a latecomer (again back to time manangement).

I must work hard to these goals!!!

Okay, the new year is so gonna be awesomeeeeeeee.

Don't you think so?

missing you

2010-12-28T02:42:00.000+08:00

"I miss you i miss you, i really wanna kiss you but i can't."

Your standard line, hahaha.

Our first Christmas together ♥

Every time when I felt so bottled up, you would be the one that opens up that tangled knot for me. I can't be more grateful to have met you and be with you: J J MAH! :]

Today, I headed for TP band practice. It was not bad, played a few sloooow songs which are meant for the openhouse next friday(ultra boring songs sia). The extras was that the conductor commented on my posture in playing = bad. And also headed to the prata shop for supper with Ian, Lihua, and Chin Keat! Hehehe ;]
Tomorrow I'm gonna wake my ass up earlyearly to cut hair, and take my time to get to NORTHPOINT!

( The sad thing is, I'm still jobless. Picky me ;[ )

Time to get some sleeeeeeep, goodnights!

HORLIDEY!

2010-12-17T04:19:00.000+08:00

The timing of 10pm onwards is a crucial one, because only then can I hear your voice, and know how you are doing. Just 5 minutes, but I'm still willing to wait. Normally I have no patience, or either dump my phone in my bag. There is an exception this time. Will it last.

Anyway

FINALLY IT'S HOLIDAY, AND I SHALL WORK.

But that's the problem, what and where can I work?

Two weeks break isn't long, but it's time to start getting some extra cash. Desperately needing extra cash ;[ sigh. What a bad thing to see the emptiness in my wallet. I also want to dress up, polish up, make up. Where to get the money ;(

Life is bad. I think i shall stick to ICC, ah.

Hating the little things in life, but that's what makes life more interesting eh?
Time to sleep!

stolen and gone

2010-12-05T02:50:00.000+08:00

My ~~heart.~~

Throwing it away may be the right thing to do now.

Our memories are so little, what I meant was memories of just us. US ALONE. Why can't I remember more than 5, is my memory that bad. Tell me please. I can't grasp anything from my mind that gives me countable good recollection. Is it just me? I need to know, please, tell me. My insecurity is so pathetic.

Today, I went out for band late. Met up with boyfriend & friends after that, probably the longest day ever for me to feel so numb. Did it ever occur to you that I am the one you've left behind now? I guess not. My thoughts swirled once or twice in my head, but I threw it away, because I thought you would realize.

I guess I was wrong.

Everything that happened is my fault. Me.

I won't throw back anymore, I'm tired.

( :'( )

my phone

2010-12-02T05:46:00.000+08:00

So many things happened, it makes me wanna stay awake tonight. No wait, it's already morning.
Is it just me being too distracted/ blur/ blind/ or what? Or am I missing some nerve tissues? I really don't understand. Misplacing things, disappearing things, incomprehensible things. My head feels so heavy, I can feel that my brain has exploded into a million gooey pieces in my skull. Things are not happening smoothly these days. What a life.

I shall do my homework, because I know I can make it, and still survive to the end. I don't want to disappoint myself. I shall never disappoint myself, ever again.

I stayed awake for a reason, and I shall make that right.

(p.s. good good luck to you)

(';..;')

2010-11-30T22:37:00.000+08:00

You know, having to see how he appreciate the things you do, is just the best thing ever.

You know, having him to hint you he has been reading what you've been writing, is the cutest thing ever.

You know, unavoidably having small fights and quarrels just to let him know you care, is the hardest thing ever.

You know, watching him being happy with his loved ones, is the sweetest thing ever.

You know, the silence between each other yet feeling that closeness together, is the perfectest thing ever.

You know, having to know the days being with him are outnumbered, is the most wretched thing ever.

I will take care of myself, you must too OK. Not feeling gloomy, just wanting you to know I will be here for you.

tell me now

2010-11-25T01:11:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, I feel like I'm being too nice and there's people trying to climb over my head.

Those who has some slight thinking or try to recollect anything.. ah ok, its you la.
Confirm chop stamp.

WARNING HOR

Maybe I should be as harsh as I can get, so ___ will know how good and bad I can go.
Nice no more.

Anw.
Life's been a busy bee, I have many concerts coming up. I know I brought it upon myself, but at least I feel happier hehe. School is so far not bad, my new lecturer is cool, and he looks super young. Not just because he's young or cool, but his teaching is really good. The kind of teaching that I like.

Aside from school, my appetite's been increasing. And I'm loving it. I kept eating, as long as I'm hungry I'll buy food to eat, even if I've alr had my dinner. Healthy weight I hope, I want my BMI to go up.

Also, I don't know if I should feel happy or sad, my boy's going army soon. Happy because he go in now, he can come out soon. Sad is I will miss him so so much. :(((( I hope I won't go insane when I don't get to msg or see each other so frequent alr. I believe life will cui after that, well, I know I can suck it up, and live life as usual. But it's gonna be different.
After he goes in, I wish things won't change for us. I stand strong to our ♥.

Afterall.
Who knows about the future, so we gotta.. Live like we're dying.

I AM HUNGRY, GONNA COOK A PACK OF MAGGIMEE.

(psst, hello tim, thank you, glad you like the song!!)

(psst, hello siewling jr, if you happen to see this, hehe)

my current desktop picture

2010-11-07T04:21:00.001+08:00

Me and him.

♥

New song yay!

2010-11-07T03:55:00.000+08:00

Currently 'surfing' my day away. My blog is getting kind of dead, I guess no one really reads my stuffs now. (awwww)

So I'm trying to liven up the blog here. A new song, to any interested person!

Seabird - Sometimes

An amazing one by them, their song are so ADDICTIVE OMG ;D

Hear them out, I bet you'll like it :]

*plugs earphone*

the heavy rain, and the downpour of my mind

2010-11-02T03:01:00.000+08:00

It would be great if I can hug you to sleep now, feeling so cold and alone. Dreading powerpoint, but I'm not letting it conquer me. Ok. Shall fight it like I'm fighting this chilly night.

(insert you here now)

Okie, at least your virtual being is here, yay!!

:(

a quick one

2010-11-01T00:29:00.001+08:00

I am imagining the quick beats of the hi-hats.

And feeling it.

(can you feel it too)

feeling ever so hype

2010-10-31T03:29:00.000+08:00

Maybe cause I'm feeling safe

Too secure

It's simple

I know the stress is coming in

And I'm running far from it

In my mind

I only see the beach and the clear blue sky

But someone's missing

Then now I know

What I want is you

And your smile.

i've put my trust in you baby

2010-10-29T00:59:00.001+08:00

Today is a bitter day.

I hid it all up,

but deep inside I feel so sad.

Why.

Perfect - Laura Jansen

Just The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

I Feel It All - Feist
.
A Loaded Smile - Adam Lambert

Sigh, what can I say. Saddened but hoping that you'll be happier, babe.
Geez why am I so pessimistic.. We will support you and your decision. Go girl!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

these insane years

2010-10-28T02:18:00.001+08:00

Some thoughts in my head tonight.
(Don't read if you're not interested)

Life isn't easy. You know that, I know that.
There isn't any slow-paced lifestyle to choose from, because it is not possible to happen.
Everybody is too crazy thinking about money and satisfying their happiness on materialistic items.
Just have to keep up, simply because you're not the majority.
People crash their minds or break down. I mean, that's really inevitable, this is just the way it is.
You have no choice, but to stand back up and keep walking.

Closed ones will give you the hug and love you need to keep you standing.
But there will always be people that will pull you up, or kick you back into the dirt.
Cherishing moments and memories is what life gives.

What I'm saying is, life is crazy.

SO BE IT, LETS GO CRAZY TOO

To all problems and obstacles in life:

School started, but I'm feeling vacation somehow. I have a lot of things that I want to say, but I will just hold back. I don't feel so right like before. It's not the usual jolly season no more. Everything is mellow.. Can you tell me why? Can you even feel me?

Anyway, a childhood story book that any LIVING THING should read, and that is the Magic Faraway Tree by Enid Blyton. Read it, clear your polluted mind and go free with the colourful wonders of fiction.

';..;'

you know

2010-10-19T22:37:00.000+08:00

I am easily contented.
I always try to give my all to anything, or for anyone.
I love being around my loved ones,

because I know they know me best.

Question is.

are you sure you know me enough?

School's starting, and I'm hating the "anticipation" for these dreadful, tiresome months.
Sigh, didn't i just say i am easily contented.
I guess I'm juuuust a little greedy.

:)

lost

2010-10-12T20:24:00.000+08:00

A sunken heart.
And pissed off.

I've worked so hard to get even worse results. The world isn't turning right, this is wrong.

Both distinction and a C came at the same time, but I've got to brood over more on the C grade. Seriously, I wish she would drop dead and die. I have proven her to be incompetent, so I was right about it from the very beginning (that shes downright retarded).

I totally believe she has no right to mark me C for this. She doesn't even teach, bloody hell.

All I know now,
is that slacking may most probably be the right thing to do, cause at least you won't look forward to any shitty results no more. Best solution for the good people.

Fuck my life.

Fuck hers too.

Hope for the best tomorrow

2010-10-11T00:37:00.000+08:00

This is the first time that I've ever logged into my school's website that frequently in my life. Freaking publish the results alreadyyyyyyyyy, what are you guys waiting for?!?!?! Ugh.

I know it's gonna be bad, so don't make it any worse. Just give it to me.

A sunday, normal sunday, chilling at home. But. Tomorrow's gonna be different. Let's just hope things will turn out good for me, please.

;]

Something new for me, just pray that it's a good one.

stagnant

2010-10-05T20:25:00.000+08:00

I feel like I'm going nowhere.

Hate it when I have this stupid feeling stuck in my head.

I'm gonna make it big, and no one will know.

No one can interfere, no one shall take notice.

Because now, I feel that everything is my problem, my solution.

Gonna go back to chalet and chill for the night. Chat with secondary school friends while awaiting for the bbq day to arrive. Didn't meet up with Karen for so long, I realized she has changed much, and I'm missing her already. Gonna see that taekwondo fanatic in a bit!

I'm bored and.. bored.

Sheez.
Is there any kind souls who can entertain me for a bit?
:[

I wanna chat with you so badly, (blues blues blues..)

2010-10-01T05:48:00.000+08:00

31st September
Plan failed. Supposedly gonna go ButterFactory with the girls, faillllll.
Oh well, still met up with Sam to walk around and buy stuffs. So I guess it wasn't counted a wasted day. Then went to the marketplace to get some soup and bread for the night.

32nd September
I had him all to myself for one whole day. Cooked stuffs, play zombie games, ...etc. Just one whole day of spending time, and being ourselves. I love it. Time turns supersonic when you're having fun. Aw, but still... Don't ask much, this is way good enough.
:)

Stayed at tanah merah today.. Slept too much and now I'm still awake.

MY CORDLESS PHONE NOT CHARGED JUST WHEN I NEEDED IT.

AHHHHHHHHH

(sigh)

emo only lor, sian
what a disappointment.

sleep bah.
nights :(

time to post some random things since its my holiday

2010-09-29T00:15:00.000+08:00

Today: Went out for lunch with Jay at Swensens. The Ice-Cream thing is damn nice, forgot what it's called. Then later met baby for a while during his break, talked, and there he went. Later on went to Jay's house to chill and stayed for dinner. My day's well spent.

This is the Ice-Cream thing, sweet as hell.

Yummy-yum-yum

On my way home, I saw this little frog at the side of the pavement.

Just can't resist but sat there to take pictures of it.

(Bad quality cause it's my phone)

So pretty... Hmm, it shall be my next model!

Hehe,

THESE ARE SOME RANDOM PRETTY THINGS:

View from my window,
the faded sky so nice.

Drew this at random.

Hahahaha

Drew this at random too.

Maybe I was thinking of getting a watch?

Yay, I love holidays.

I feel no stress no pressure.

My life is good~

i need you now

2010-09-27T01:22:00.000+08:00

Feel like killing myself right now.
Suicidal mode, I really can't think any longer. My brain is totally drained after band man, and now I'm so sleepy I can't manage this fking proposal. :(

You know, now i really realize what disgusts me the most. Fking freeloaders. And I swear I will never let any of you off so easily again. May karma falls on you, evil people.

>:(

MY WORLD.

buried alive

feeling sian

punctured

;(

floating minds

troubleshoot

weekend stuck at home

just keep going people

scurry scurry, ants in a hurry

plunging into the perils of the people network

wheres my catalyst

shall make myself feel good

what was the hardest part

drain drain drain

*hooks*

moody because im truly sad about now.

weird places

feeling zonked out

my mama dont believe its me :o

does anyone still visit here?

positioning

every teardrop is a waterfall

he he he

blow my mind with inspirations, anyoneeeeee?

i have so many things in my mind

when i cant reason out any of your reasons

ultimate contemplation

just so i know

06aug '11

miss u

wonders if theres the difference

r.i.p amy winehouse

my super mummy

its you thats hidden by the expectation

you've got your regrets, darling we all do.

in everything that we are

ranting a little here for you

me and everything else going on around me

can't wait for you, my dear holiday

miscellaneous

✓✓✓

Today marks the beginning of my stoning days.

the first night, since long ago

forego insecurities; i have my donkey with me!

pictures proving that I'm still alive

i know its me, but hey, this is me.

this is my irony, or maybe you feel it too

my determination feels crushed

me and you, will we float?

We could have had it all, rolling in the deee-eeep

pouring my goals

I fractured my hand

this. is. bad

:(

oh boy, the day's getting closer. ARE U EXCITED TOO?

what am i s'posed to do when the best part of me was always you

so not motivated

my day today

psst...

my recent happenings, good or bad or worse

time to give that deafening roar

haven't been updating

i am in agony i wish i was dead

pathetic shitzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

solitary and sensitive

the dreadful week = submission week

the stubby jealousy in people

self-hypnotize trick

so stressed out by what i feel is miscellaneous shitz

our words

its a cycle, of missing and thinking of you over and over again

Not alone

deprived from sleep, im gloomy

Suppose to do my work, death

oldies love

love on love

HELLO 2011!

missing you

Our first Christmas together ♥

hooks